Change negative thought patterns

How your interpretations affect your feelings

Our feelings do not arise in a vacuum. Emotional reactions can be created by external triggers such as events we experience, or by internal triggers such as our own thoughts and memories. How we react emotionally to a situation often depends on how we automatically and unconsciously interpret it through our thought patterns, past experiences and current state of mind. A negative interpretation can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression, while a more nuanced or neutral interpretation can contribute to a more balanced experience.

Automatic thoughts

Automatic thoughts are those that arise without us actively choosing them. They can be:

• Neutral: ‘I need to fill up the car.’
• Positive: ‘I did well in the presentation today.’
• Negative: ‘I'm useless at speaking in front of people.’

It is usually the negative automatic thoughts that create strong feelings of stress, worry or anxiety. In psychology, these thoughts are seen as a kind of behaviour rather than objective truths.

The difference between thoughts and feelings

It is easy to confuse what we think and what we feel. For example, someone might say: ‘I felt that he was angry with me.’

But what actually happened was a thought: ‘He didn't say anything and looked away, so I think he's angry.’

That thought can in turn create a feeling, such as sadness or insecurity. Becoming more aware of the difference between thoughts and feelings makes it easier to influence how we feel, because thoughts can be questioned and changed.

Common thought traps

Thought traps are unconscious and systematic misinterpretations of reality. They can negatively affect our well-being and self-esteem and lead to unnecessary stress or limitations in everyday life. By identifying and questioning these thought patterns, we can learn to think in a more balanced and realistic way. Here are some common thought traps and how they can affect us:

Black-and-white thinking

Seeing everything in extremes, without any nuances – everything is either perfect or a total failure. There is no grey area.

Example: You come second in a big competition, but instead of feeling proud, you see it as a failure because you didn't win.

Be aware of words like ‘nothing,’ ‘everything,’ “totally” or ‘completely’ – they can signal that you are falling into this trap.

Mental filter

Focusing on the negative and ignoring the positive. Isolated negative events are perceived as confirmation that everything always goes wrong.

Example: You receive a critical comment and immediately think, ‘I never do anything right,’ even though you have received praise many times.

Be alert to words such as “never” and ‘always’ – they may indicate that you are stuck in a negative filter.

Must/should thinking.

Setting unreasonably high standards for yourself and believing that you always have to perform at your best.

Example: ‘I must get the highest marks, otherwise I'm not good enough.’

It is important to question these standards and consider whether they are really reasonable.

Catastrophising

Assuming the worst possible outcome, often without any reasonable basis for doing so.

Example: ‘If I say something wrong at the seminar, everyone will think I'm incompetent.’

Remind yourself that mistakes rarely have as serious consequences as you think.

Mind reading

Assuming that you know what others are thinking, often with a negative interpretation.

Example: You meet an acquaintance on the street who does not say hello and immediately conclude that the person dislikes you – when they may just have been preoccupied with their own thoughts.

The only way to know what someone is thinking is to ask.

Fortune telling

Predicting a negative future without any actual evidence.

Example: ‘I'm sure I'll fail the next exam too.’

Negative expectations can become self-fulfilling prophecies – we act on our fears and make them come true.

Magnification and minimization

Exaggerating the negative and downplaying the positive.

Example: You make a small mistake at work and are convinced that your boss is disappointed in you forever, even though it is actually a minor issue.

Try to see things in proportion – how big is it really in the long run?

Personalization

Taking responsibility for events that you do not actually have control over.

Example: You blame yourself for the atmosphere at a meeting becoming tense, even though it wasn't your responsibility.

Ask yourself: Would I blame someone else for the same thing? If not, why am I blaming myself?

Changing negative thoughts

One way to work with negative thoughts is to question them and see the situation from multiple perspectives. A common tool is the ABC model:

• A – Antecedent: What happened before the thought arose?
• B – Behaviour: What did you think and how did you react?
• C – Consequence: How were your feelings affected in the short and long term?

Steps for working with thought patterns

Identify negative thoughts:

The first step in the change process is to become aware of the thoughts that arise in different situations. These may be self-critical thoughts, catastrophic thoughts or feelings of inadequacy. An important question to ask yourself is:

• In what situations do these thoughts arise?
• What specifically am I thinking in these moments?

Writing down your thoughts can give you a clearer picture of the patterns and make it easier to work with them.

Note the strength of your emotions

Put your feelings into words and rate their intensity on a scale of 1 to 10.

Also pay attention to physical reactions such as tension or palpitations.

List evidence for and against

Examine whether the thought is actually true. For example

• Thought: ‘I'll never be able to do this.’
• Evidence for: ‘I've failed before.’
• Evidence against: ‘I've also succeeded in similar situations and received positive feedback.’

Formulate a more nuanced thought

Replace the negative thought with a more realistic one.

• Instead of ‘I'm going to fail’ → ‘It's challenging, but I've done similar things before.’
• Instead of ‘Nobody likes me’ → ‘I didn't get much response today, but that doesn't mean others dislike me.’

Re-evaluate

Reassess the strength of the emotion.

• Has the discomfort decreased?
• Has your view of the situation changed?

Changing thought patterns takes time and requires practice. But by working systematically with your interpretations, you can reduce negative emotional reactions and create a more balanced approach, both to yourself and to what is happening around you.